The Cold

I am loving the cold! though i did underestimate it today. as i was walking to my institute class today i kept thinking, "its effing cold its effing cold" but other than me being unprepared it was really nice to have a change in weather.

Sunshine

so i am quickly finding that i need sun to help keep me happy. for the last few days ive just been a lazy bum. all ive done during the day is sit in my apartment and waited for my girly friend to get home. i am starting to feel the effects of that. my mood isnt what it used to be and the more i sit here the less i want to do anything. so today i will make it out! i will go skate! and i will go to my book of mormon class! (though i dont really like it) the weather is too nice to miss out. finding this out however, is going to make this winter interesting. but we will take it when it comes.

rap music

For some reason i am really liking rap music. not the bitches and hoes type but the good stuff. like MF Doom or Del tha Funkee Homosapien. they rap about real stuff like riding on the bus in san francisco or about food or other stuff like that. its sad that a lot of rap is just comes out as just really bad and boreing music.

school

i think i am going to go back to school next summer. eve and i were looking up carpentry programs at a few of the local colleges and i feel good about the one a UVU. also sitting at the training meetings at work today really made it look good. all we did was sit there and listen to one of the office ladies read from this giant manual. it was like being in school again because we had tests over the crap we talked about. so i figured that i would rather build cabenets than do that crap all day...anyways...thats me right now...what about you?

the beautiful and the privileged

if i am not able to convey how i feel correctly, this blog may turn into a rant about rich people. all i mean to do is point out some of the social tendancys that come from the offspring of hard working people.




i spent most of tonight hanging out with my friend brook. she had been posting really depressing status updates on the all mighty facebook so i decided to give her a call and see if she wanted to do something to get this guy off her mind. as she is talking about him and how he treats her, it made me wonder if he had been brought up in a well-to-do family(a lot of the human garbage ive run into have grown up in wealthy families). she confirmed my suspicisons. the part that gets me is that his finantial status was the first thing that i thought about. it seems that, if not raised properly, children with lots of money treat other human beings like dirt. in my opinion they have a lack of good life experance which leads them to kind of create their own world where they are king because they have the good looks and money and everything. they think the only thing that matters is what is going on in their life and nothing else.
"Eff everyone else! My petty high school problems are more important than world hunger!"
then when they move out and get slaped in the face with the real world then they do one of three things right off the bat. 1) they realize what an ass they have been and shape up 2) it depresses them and they start to drink/do drugs ect. 3) they try to force their own small little world on everyone else.
this last one is the one that bothers me the most because this is the person that makes other people crap. their small relationship problems out weigh the death of gretchins mother last week. then gretchin feels like she has to deal with 2 peoples problems rather than just her own.

now there are always, ALWAYS, exceptions to what i just wrote and i dont feel like i have accuratly put what i feel into words. in fact i feel as though i have just written a whole load crap dumped from the bowls of bad wrighting. but it helped me blow of some steam that had been building up from 5 hours of listning. anyway...take what you will from this...or not...

REBELLION!!!!

So today my rebellious side stirred in my head. it hasnt for a while so thats why i though i should wright about it. at fhe tonight ben, nate, and i decided to have a little jam session at my apartment. we played around for a while (kind of badly at that) and at about 9:15 the people below us came and knocked on our door(assuming to tell us to be quiet but she never actually said anything). now she had her right to tell us to shut up and im not denying that but when she knocked on our door, i got the sudden urge to say "to hell with you! you can put up with it till 10:00!" but alas i didnt because the people that live below us also happen to be the apartment managers. so that could have ended up very badly for us. but it doesnt stop me from fantasizing about what i would have said and would have done! and boy would she have gotten it if this world was my imagination and i would never ever get in trouble. though if this world was my imagination i would also be the greatest skateboarder of all time. AND i would be the biggest rock star of all time...and the ladies would love me...and it would be perfect...and cats could also be purple just for kicks....yes...

being sick

is the worst. the only thing you can do is wait it out and hope that it isnt going to be as bad as you think its going to be. i am as you might have figured am sick. i went to the doctor and they gave me medication but the only thing to do is now is wait...and wait...and wait some more.

Hardcore music

so this last week i took a trip down to tucson. when ever i go home to tucson my time is usually taken up by skateboarding and hardcore music at the the local anarcist collective. while i was down there this last time i came to a realization. i am not cut out for hardcore music. though i love it dearly and its helped me get through a lot of emotional times, i just cant do that it all the time like a lot of my friends can. last thursday i went to smilie fest at the dry river. it was 16 bands and they had a skate ramp and everything. everyone was in a super good mood and all the music was super good. then the last band was up. their name was Slow Thought. i had seem them before and i knew that their sets were particularly violent, so i elected to stand very far a way from the pit. as their set progressed the people got more and more adjitated. by the end of it all 4 people were bleeding and almoste everyone that was in/standing around the pit had someones blood on them. it was insane! and thats when i realized that to do the hardcore thing, you need to eather have deep seeded anger issues or you just need to do coke way too much.

so to sum it all up hardcore is fun in small doces but as a life style its not for me. too crazy and too much bull shit(sorry for the strong language) to deal with.

take me home country roads

i just got an e-mail that was inviting me to go to a surprise birthday party for my best friend che. i just kinda made me miss home a lot. sometimes i see pictures and read comments and things about whats going on back home and i really wish i was there. i wish i could pack up and go back and play music and all that but, something in the back of my mind keeps telling me "you know better nick, you need to stay in utah." it just drives me up the wall knowing that i cant be there to help out my best buddy or be there for one of the moste epich shows thats comming up or any of that. i kinda just feel like im spinning my wheels here but at the same time i know if i go back to tucson it definatly wouldnt be the best thing for me...ugh! im just upset right now that i cant be at che's party. ill be over it soon enough.

gay guys

tonight while doing my nightly ritual of fiddling around on facebook, i came across a status update that said "i got hit on by a gay guy today." i got somewhat upset by that because i know a lot of gay people and they are totally cool people. so chace( i will use your name because i know you will never ever read my blog) i will tell you exactly why that gay guy hit on you. he hit on you because he thought you were gay! out of all the straight guys i know, you are one of the moste femmenine guys i know! maybe if you would put a little less thougtht into what you wair and how your hair looks, then you wouldnt have that problem. gay guys wont hit on you if they dont suspect anything.

media

so today i went and saw the movie coroline(dont know how its spelled) with a good friend of mine. the movie was a kind of creepy tale about a girl that goes into another world that looks just like her own only where everyones eyes should have been there were coat buttons insted. though the movie was kind of creepy it didnt scare me really at all. though my friend jumped and even screamed out loud in some parts. so my question is have i really been desenceitized enought to think that the movie was not really that bad? i know it was only rated PG but still...i wouldnt take my child to see that. but o well...what do i know...do what ever the hell you want...your life your rules.

mothers day

is it weird that i have no sort of attachment to mothers day? i mean i realize that i didnt grow up with a mom in the house but usually most kids still do something. for me its just been like any other sunday except they would make us give out flowers to all the woman in the ward. as a joke once i gave my dad one of the flowers because through out my live he has tried to play both roles. but ya...do other people celebrate mothers day even though they dont really have much attachment to their mother? i did take my aunt linda(who is the coolest aunt in the world) out for lunch on friday and i finished digging her ditch for her. so i guess you could count that as a mothers day/birthday present.

its weird because i feel more attachment to my aunt then my mom. i mean i loved my mom to bits when i saw her but she didnt really do anything for my sister and i when we were growing up. we would also go on vacation a lot and visit linda so i think that because we saw her more often then there was more attachment there...i dunno...its all good. happy mothersday to all you mothers out in internet land.

hrm

im feeling pretty good right now. i have had 3 good meals today and i had a bit of social interaction as well. i get to finish digging a ditch for my aunt linda tomarrow and its also her birthday. so that should be a good time.

im loving the spring weather up here in utah. i feel like i shoud be outside all the time. i cant wait to ride the river trail and see what thats all about! maybe ill do that sometime tomarrow since i wont have a whole lot to do after i finish the work and all that. i think i will. it will be my goal to do it. i think i need to get back into shape this summer too. it makes me feel better when i eat well and am in sort of shape.

so....

blogging...ya this i cool i guess....i feel as though i need some sort of release aside from skateboarding and playing music so i figured i try my hand at writing. so...ya.

so i think i figured out why i sometimes have a great time at social gatherings and why sometimes i just want to kill my self(figuratively speaking of course) while there. i think it all has to do with how much i eat. i am a very scrawny fellow after all and i tend to go through food like no ones business, but the problem is that i dont really like eating and i get really bored of food extreemly fast. so then i dont eat and i get cranky. whats a growing boy supposed to do? i guess i should find someone that really likes to eat and hang out with them all the time. that way i never go hungry and there will always be something interesting to eat. eve seems to help me with that. she took me to this sushi place and showed me all sorts of stuff(i had never been before) and i really liked it. but the thing is that its so damn expensive. frik...o well. i guess ill figure something out.